Children of Pandora's Box

Without missing a beat, Luka used her waterbending water magic skills and fire hosed the fuck out of that fence with a muttered spell and a wave of her hands. Fuck it, she didn't have to pay the water bill.

Dani actually wasn't scarred for life by this because everyone seemed okay. Besides, Alex couldn't possibly hit hard enough to hurt anyone right? Keep thinking that, sweetie, your mother is trying her damned hardest to keep you as far away from sin shit as possible.

Alex was still trying to beat the shit out of Neya. He wasn't really angry at all, but Pollo side was having fun with this right now and the kids had totally been forgotten. Sam seriously needs to be paid for keeping these two out of jail.

Sam rolled her eyes, "You couldn't have just made it rain? Kostya does." Anya bit her tongue to keep back a very sassy reply that Sam set up for her. She didn't want to be rude, however. There was also the part where she didn't know if the words were correct, and didn't want to chance it.

Neya wasn't having any of that, and was hitting right back. She wasn't going to let him win, but she also wasn't going to hurt him too much. She was trained as a ninja in this life. If she wanted to, he'd be on the ground whimpering.

"No. Because that's way too fucking suspicious. Your neighbors would freak the fuck out. That was a lot quieter and less 'let's change the fucking weather entirely'. That might've been cool about...two thousand fucking years ago but I'm pretty sure your neighbors would shoot us or something."

As much as ninja training did for Neya, Alex was no pushover when he got into it, and being soft was Allen's job. Since Sam's not here, this shit will probably end with an accidental broken limb and a draw.

Sam rolled her eyes, "You have no idea what my neighbors have seen."

Who the fuck knows. I don't think Neya will stop unless Alex gets hurt. Neya would keep going. Tis but a flesh wound.

"Apart from your immortal goat and dog, your sister in law and husband occasionally being psychotic, or your friends' daughter setting a fucking fence on fire?" Luka asked nonchalantly. "Mother of Levia I'm honestly surprised the cops haven't been called yet. You're right a rainstorm would seem downright normal in comparison."

One of the kids probably needs to stop them before someone is accidentally broken and all of this has to be explained to Sam or Anne.

"See? A rainstorm would've been fine. You're paying my water bill for this month." And every other month that Luka fucks with her water. Uncool bro. Anya started ignoring the two and making small fireballs, then making them vanish.

Which one of the kids were responsible enough? Dylan thinks this is funny, Ene is betting on it and I'm pretty sure Dani is scared.

"Yeah, fine, whatever." Luka shrugged, vowing to stop fucking up Sam's water lines. That shit was expensive.

In an answer to our question, Ron stops the fight...sort of. More like he had wandered back from his impromptu shower and tripped over the brawl. This caused Alex to stop fighting, because a soaking wet zombie tripping over shit was hilarious to him.

Sam tilted her head towards Anya without looking away from her head. She could see Anya excelling at her little task that she created for herself.

Neya groaned, "Ron! Didn't you dry off? This is super gross!"

Luka was watching too, while being her usual ADHD self and trying to juggle with a random tennis ball she'd found in the yard. Either she was just screwing around, or her hand-eye coordination was a fail, because every now and then, she'd just...drop it. I'm banking on the former, however.

Neya's reaction only added to Alex's amusement. "You act like wet zombie is an awful thing. It's just kind of like a wet puppy." He teased. Yeah. A wet puppy. Made of mummified or rotting flesh. That used to be a living, feeling human. Exactly the same.

Anya lost control again when the tennis ball got in her line of sight. She about screamed. So did Sam, for that matter. The woman was about to go off on her workplace acquaintance.

"Exactly! He's acting like a wet dog. Adorable, but gross." Neya shot back. This wasn't even a fight. This was them continuing to act like scary children.

Ene grumbled, all her amusement gone. "Now they're just being childish and boring."
"It's a little disturbing as well," Dylan said as she watched her father hang out with a zombie.

By this point, it could be assumed Luka was trying to piss off her best friend's sister or her daughter to the point of dismissal. This was, in all honesty, probably true, because playing fire hose or not, Luka still didn't know why Sam was keeping her here. Or, she knew, but she hate the ginger's reason. Damned heartless gingers. Couldn't a witch purposely try to distance herself from her daughter in peace?

Ron's attention was turned on the kids now, and he gestured a soggy zombified arm in their direction with another groan. Dani died a little on the inside. Don't worry Dani, he won't eat your brains. You're too dumb for that.

What Luka needed to realize, is that Sam is a mother, through and through. Her entire being is made up of little things that just make her probably the best mother in the world. Anya got pay back by setting the tennis ball on fire while it was up in the air. Sam laughed as Anya made it clear, "I did that on purpose. If you're going to stay, at least be helpful."

Dylan and Ene were not impressed.

Anya needs to realize that Luka's only helpful when Luka absolutely has no other choice than to be helpful. As such, in an attempt to extinguish the tennis ball, she may or may not have missed a little bit, and got Anya with the water as well. I'd call her immature, but that's just stating the obvious. Luka hasn't been mature since she turned immortal. Granted, she had been helpful by putting out the fireball, it was just clear that she implied, "I'll be helpful, but you're not scaring me little girl." Because daughter or not, Luka was a fully trained witch with thousands of years of experience, and Anya had literally discovered her powers that morning. She'd let her daughter do the math.

"That wasn't to scare you, Luka. Not everything is a threat." Anya smiled slightly, she didn't care about the spray of water on her. It actually cooled her down from working with the fire. "I did it because you were distracting me. I would've done the same to Dad." Anya laughed, "He had a beard, once, and I pulled hairs out any time I could before he gave up and shaved it off." Sam snorted. "It was itchy!" Anya said in her own defense, "He absolutely did not know how to take care of a beard."

Luka raised an eyebrow at the first comment. That served two purposes; one, Luka was actually surprised Anya understood her reaction. Secondly, the irony of her daughter's statement was hilarious to her. The pink haired woman saw a lot of things as threats. Spending an eternity being chased by your obsessive, psychotic sister-in-law, watching your friends kill each other, and being a mob boss did that to a person. But she smiled in response, slightly. She still wasn't quite up to this whole 'bonding' thing. Even if her kid was awesome, she'd die eventually. And that just added to Luka's paranoia-fuel. She also fought back the urge to laugh at the thought of Kostya with a beard. The mental image was hilarious, especially since Anya added that he was awful at caring for it. "I didn't mean to distract you." She pointed out, shrugging apologetically. "I was just bored." Which happens a lot. I'm sorry your mother is ADD as fuck, Anya.

"Focus, and teach." Anya demanded. Being a mob boss's daughter did that to a girl. She was used to commanding those around her. Not getting her way wasn't usual. She was spoiled, but never bratty about it. If Luka didn't listen, it'd be fine. Anya went back to learning how to control her fire. I can do this. I can learn. It will take time. I can wait. I have been through a lot. This is nothing. My dad is Harry Potter. Okay. I am Luna motherfucking Lovegood. Amazing. I've met my biological moth- Her thoughts cut off as she realized that her fire had gotten out of control and was sent flying at Sam, who quickly lit up her own fire shield. Anya was very impressed.

Luka quickly fulfilled her duty as the human firehouse, extinguishing any fire that happened to not go into Sam's rather impressive fire shield. When she finished, she figured they could deal with the scorched grass after Anya was done learning, and the damage of done. It'd be too much effort to fix the grass every time she burnt it. Might as well deal with the whole mess at the end. "Well. That was a thing." Thankfully, Sam had good reflexes, or that would suck. Fixing a burnt human was more like Ella's cup of tea, not Luka's. She could, per se, but Ella was better at it, in her opinion.

Anya looked horrified. "I'm so sorry, I was thinking too much and-"
The shield went down, and Sam was smiling like a mad woman. "Calm down! You're fine! That was great. No harm, no foul." The grass would object, Sam. "You're powerful, though. It makes sense. You have a lot of magic in your family history, so honestly? It's not surprising that you could take out my yard without thinking about it. You're fine. You just need control."

"Sam's yard didn't stand a chance." Luka pointed out helpfully. "Control it, and you can officially kick ass." She paused for a second. "...and mean to kick ass." She corrected. Again. Sam's yard officially got it's ass handed to it on a silver platter. She wasn't sure whose ass Anya would be meaning to kick with her new magic and shit, but whatever. If she wanted to beat someone the fuck up, it wasn't her problem, unless it was another one of her hitmen. Then she might be a little annoyed.

"Would anyone object to me lighting my aunt's cat on fire?" She would've continued, but her english wasn't great and she didn't know how to say uzhasayushchiy.

"Not at all. I'll pay you." Luka had no objections to this at all. "But that might not be a good idea. Your aunt would probably set you on fire, and then a bunch of shit would go down." She mused out loud, frowning. "If she set you on fire, then I'd have to kill her because Kostya's a wuss when it comes to Irina, and then he's going to get pissed off, and I'm 'better than that' and whatever." Someone's had the 'don't muder Irina' speech a lot, apparently. Probably from a lot of people.

Anya blinked, "Dad would kill Irina in an instant if she killed me. I kicked her cat once, and she kicked me. Dad had her on the ground in seconds."
Sam snorted, "I remember Ella's story about how Irina tried to poison you because you're more important." She looked at Luka, "Kostya only didn't murder her because Tristan was like: everybody chill."
Anya nodded, "That was about five Christmases ago? Uncle Tristan is super chill."

"Yeah, Irina doesn't seem to realize no one likes her." Luka pointed out. "I remember the time I sicced the twins' dog after her. This was before Kostya came back to life so I got away with it, but I'd probably get the lecture again if I tried it now." Good times, good times. "Probably a lecture from Ella too about hurting the cat." Even though Ella knows fully well that the cat is literally Irina. "By all means, though, if you can get out of it without turning into a pile of ashes, set the cat on fire. One of us should be able to get away with it." And it wasn't Luka that could get away with it, as previously mentioned. "If you set the cat on fire I'm serious when I tell you it would probably solve everyone's life problems right now."

Sam nodded, "I'm the one who is forever against murder, and killing Irina would be a pleasure."
"Good to know." Anya laughed. Talk about killing your aunt and laugh. Jesus, she's so fucked.

This whole family is fucked. Anya fits right in. "Honestly? I'm still trying to figure what the fuck is up with her." Luka pointed out. She stopped to count in her head. "Legit six thousand years, and I still have not the slightest idea as to why she hates everyone. I can't even say she just hates me anymore. It's like she exists to fuck everything up." True story.