Children of Pandora's Box

Can zombies moan in disappointment? I'm pretty sure Ron just did. Totally not a regular zombie moan. Not at all.

Neya whined because somehow, she found that super adorable. She wrapped her arms around Ron's shoulders, "Oh, you poor little thing. You deserve better than this cruel, mute world!"

Alex had rrefocused on their undead friend once more, shaking his head in sympathy. "Think he can write, Neya?" He asked, looking urious. If Ron was a writing zombie, that would be the coolest shit ever. Too bad his brain was maggot food.

"Not with being dead for centuries. Like, was he even alive when they were teaching people how to write?" Neya logic'd as she pulled away from her zombie friend. She patted Ron's head like he was a pet, and shook her head sadly.

"...we knew how to write. Vaguely." Alex countered, shrugging. Arte could write better than Pollo, more than likely, but they were educated well enough to manage Conchita's territories, and Banica trusted Ron as much as she did the twins.

"...dude, isn't it a bit early for Halloween...?" Dani commented, looking at the costumed man standing with her aunt and uncle. "Not that that isn't a /great/ costume." The group of girls was far enough away from the trio to not be overheard, at the very least not by Ron and Alex.

Dylan looked over and snorted, not even surprised. "Of course my dad would be lame enough to hang out with whatever the hell that is."
Ene gave her best shit-eating grin, "I'm not related to them, biologically. You two have that in your DNA."

Neya knew the girls were there, because she's Neya, but she didn't care. "Do you really think she spent time on educating Ron? I mean, he's awesome, but he's still Ron."

"He's the stuff toucher." Alex shook his head in sadness. "What if he had thrown away the glass?" In response, Ron moans again. Poor sap, totally unable to defend himself if these two decide to literally tear him limb from limb with a shit eating grin on their faces.

"Hey! Aunt Neya's cool." Dani protested. Her uncle kind of...not, but he was an alright guy. "I mean, you're related to Aunt Ella, so..." She pointed out. In a contest of 'who was it cooler to be related to', Neya kind of won.

Ene laughed, "Dani, you realize that because of my dad, Neya treats me like a niece? Out of the three of us, who do you think is most like her?" Dylan took offense, but she had to admit that Ene could keep a secret ten times better than she could, like Neya.

"If he had through away the glass, so much less would've gone down." Neya shook her head, "It would've been horrific. A mix of Greek Tragedies and the Addams Family."

"I can keep a secret!" The youngest of the three girls protested, crossing her arms indignantly. "I just...choose not to." She looked over her shoulder at her aunt and uncle and their weird friend just before...weird friend's arm...fell the fuck off.

"Shit. //Ron//, how can we convince the others to let you speak if you're falling apart!" Your priorities continue to astound me, Alex Lucifen.

Dylan laughed, "Oh my god, Dad's not lame!" Ene just snapped a picture, because she knew that was the Neya-thing to do.

Neya groaned, "Ron! You can't even hold yourself together! Pick yourself up from off the ground! Stop slacking!" Neya almost laughed at her own jokes. She loved herself.

Alex, in response, smacked Ron in thr back of yhe head with his own arm. "You haven't been back for an hour and you're already falling apart! Keep it together, Ron!" An annoyed growl from our zombie friend at the smack, but his still attached arm didn't try to kill him. He probably remembered he was no match for either of them, much less both of them.

Dani fucking screamed because she couldn't deal with this illogical shit. While ditzy as fuck, she was a realistic person, and this may have just scarred her for life. She would probably have the most trouble following the whole Sin thing.

Neya looked over, "Oh look, brother. It's your daughter and nieces." Like she didn't know they were there before. She grinned when she saw Ene's phone, "That's my girl!" She gave Ella's daughter a proud nod, pretty much made Ene's month.
Dylan smacked Dani, "Dude! My dog is as old as my mother and you don't see me screaming every time I see him. Calm yourself."

" //His fucking arm just fell off, and I'm not supposed to scream?//" I swear to Held, Dani was on the 'can't even' train with Anya when it came to this damn family. For real.

"Ah...don't be scared? Ron's harmless?" Alex tried hopefully. In response, Ron gave a zombie screech, just because he wanted to mess with the kids, the asshole. Just because he's desd doesn't mean he doesn't have a sense of humor, after all.

Dani promptly hid behind her two older cousins, because right now she couldn't handle the zombie.

"Uh...if your mother asks, you never saw Ron. I'll pay you and everything, Dylan." Alex offered, looking nervously at his oldest daughter. Bringing back Ron from the dead was one thing. Bringing Ron from the dead and letting the kids see him was another level of oh shit he didn't feel like dealing with right now with Sam. At least she wasn't scarred by it? He was already going to have to break it to his sister why Dani looked like she was about to throw up. But to be fair, Anne wasn't too fond of Ron either. But that was less from fear and more from not wanting to smell a partially rotting corpse, no matter how well behaved their undead friend was.

"Dad, this is so much more than a simple pay off." Dylan told her father with a slayer smile that could match his own. "With the two witnesses, Dani's scares, and Ene's pictures, Mom will have no way but to believe me." She weighted her options for a second and counter-offered, "Money, no chores for two weeks and next time Mom's mad at me, you have to take my side."

"Calm your cousin down and I'll save your breakfast from the goat for a month." His daughter drove a hard bargain. He was iimpressed. Ron made another little zombie roar, which caused Dani to stop peeking over Dylan's shoulder.

"In addition to my terms, of course." Dylan turned to Dani, "Why are you being such a child? You yourself said he was in Halloween mode. It's a fake arm." Dylan grabbed the arm and pulled back a finger to the point where it was about to break off, "See? Fake." She waved the zombie's arm around before hitting Ron with his own arm.

Alex nodded in agreement.

"Because he smells like rotting flesh, maybe?" Dani asked, somehow able to be sarcastic through her...rather obvious fear. "They don't sell 'eau d'rotten corpse', last time I checked." Touché.

Dylan snorted, "Dude, how do you think we get Meelo to take a bath? A smell that makes even him want to throw up." She would not give up.

' //You force your cousin to smell rotting flesh? He's five!//" Dani wouldn't be easily persuaded, Dylan. There's no logical way to play this off. It's a fucking zombie.

"It's the only way he doesn't smell like rotting flesh!" Dylan screamed back, "Besides! It's just a fragrance from PartyCity! It's not like I can open a Tupperware container of dead flesh!"

"Why does PartyCity sell the smell of rotting flesh?! Isn't there some kind of health code against that?!"

Alex stepped forward then. "Well. See. He works in the graveyard, and dresses up like a zombie to make it more fun." Leaning forward like he was telling his youngest niece a secret, he added, "Between you and me, he smells so awful because he spends all day in a graveyard and never bathes." The blond wrinkled his nose for added effect. Dani was a lot like her mother, so that excuse might actually wirk with her. She was about as image conscious, minus the whole Pride demon thing.

Neya looked personally offended for Ron, and hit her brother's shoulders. "He bathes!" She looked at the zombie like she was thinking before demanding, "Ron, go shower."

Dylan rolled her eyes, "Daaaaaaddd. You can even make him lame! God, you're so boring."

"I'm trying to keep your cousin from going home and telling her mother she saw a real fucking zombie! I'm supposed to be keeping this stuff from you guys!" Alex was going to ignore his daughter's comment.

"You suck at it." Dani told her uncle helpfully. "But keep what stuff from us, Uncle Alex?" She was curious now, and actually not thinking about Ron. Dumbass zombie had actually gone and started looking for the nearest water hose.

"Oh //hell// no." Alex wasn't even. Wimp.

"Oh hell yes." Ene cut in, wanting to see where this went. She already figured most of it out, she only needed confirmation now. Even her parents wouldn't give it up. It was highly frustrating. "What do you keep from us, Uncle Alex? You wouldn't lie to me, right? I mean, think of how knowing everyone is lying to us could damage us. I might never be able to trust you with anything. I mean, are you even my uncle?" Ene paused for a second, seeing if she had to push harder.
Neya was unimpressed.

"No, I'm secretly your adopted brother's father's son twice removed." Smartass. "See, the guilt trip isn't going to work, because it's a choice of either scarring you for life by NOT knowing, or scarring you for life BY knowing. I choose trust issues over psychological breakdown."